| Fact ID |
Rating |
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| #927 |
3.29 |
The war in Iraq will end when Jack Bauer vacations there. |
| #397 |
3.29 |
Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a fucking terrorist. |
| #3288 |
3.28 |
If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat she would move to the back |
| #59 |
3.28 |
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. |
| #139 |
3.23 |
The only reason you're conscious right now is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you. |
| #119 |
3.20 |
There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot. |
| #63 |
3.20 |
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. |
| #817 |
3.19 |
They say you can't go a day without water, Jack Bauer has gone five seasons. |
| #530 |
3.17 |
Jack Bauer sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow. |
| #939 |
3.16 |
Don't ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar. |
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| #623 |
3.16 |
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back. |
| #1274 |
3.15 |
Every person in authority who has ever decided Jack Bauer is wrong and a loose cannon who needs to be arrested is dead. Coincidence? I think not. |
| #513 |
3.11 |
As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg. |
| #566 |
3.11 |
When life hands Jack Bauer Lemons, he kills Terrorists. Jack Bauer fuckin' hates lemonade. |
| #541 |
3.10 |
After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload. |
| #945 |
3.10 |
Jack's friend Chase once said that he loved Kim Bauer. Jack then killed a bunch of terrorists to try and calm down. After running out of terrorists, Jack told Chase he had no other choice and chopped off his arm with a fire axe. |
| #922 |
3.09 |
The Dinosaurs laughed at Jack ... |
| #70 |
3.08 |
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. |
| #689 |
3.07 |
A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walked into a bar... and Jack Bauer is going to find out why... |
| #460 |
3.07 |
Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!" |
| #300 |
3.03 |
Jack Bauer has no friends, because as a child when he would play cops and robbers, the robbers would all be interogated and killed. |
| #428 |
3.02 |
Superman has Jack Bauer pajamas. |
| #544 |
3.02 |
Jack Bauer doesn't drink honey, he chews bees. |
| #81 |
3.02 |
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why there's no life on Mars. |