| Fact ID |
Rating |
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| #637 |
2.93 |
Jack Bauer can go more than 24 hours without eating or taking a dump. If you doubt this, there is over 96 hours of video footage to back it up. |
| #704 |
2.93 |
Everytime you masturbate, Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not because you were masturbating, but because that is how often Jack Bauer kills terrorists |
| #933 |
2.92 |
Jack Bauer banged my sister. Good for him. |
| #924 |
2.92 |
Pain is weakness leaving the body. Jack Bauer feels no pain because he has never had weakness. Ever. |
| #878 |
2.92 |
Jack Bauer once wrote a book. You might know it. It's called The Bible. |
| #71 |
2.92 |
Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because he's a pussy. |
| #402 |
2.90 |
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite is violet, not because its pretty but because it sounds like violent. |
| #818 |
2.90 |
Chuck Norris's beard can deflect bullets... Jack Beuer only needs 5 o'clock shadow. |
| #1494 |
2.90 |
Jack Bauer can talk about Fight Club. |
| #343 |
2.90 |
Ken Jennings won every game of Jeopardy because he put "Jack Bauer" as the answer to Final Jeopardy, and Jack Bauer is never wrong. |
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| #99 |
2.89 |
Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris' neck into 24 pieces. |
| #733 |
2.89 |
Jack Bauer can divide by zero. |
| #1392 |
2.89 |
Jack can't believe 60 Minutes doesn't occur in real time. |
| #819 |
2.88 |
Sonny Bono cut off Jack Bauer while skiing. Once. |
| #342 |
2.88 |
Taco Bell used to close at midnight, until Jack Bauer decided he wanted to have burritos at 2 am. |
| #122 |
2.88 |
Jack bauer named his cat chuck Norris because it is a pussy |
| #650 |
2.87 |
Jack Bauer can go on a hunting trip with the Vice President and live. |
| #82 |
2.86 |
When Jack Bauer goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. |
| #504 |
2.86 |
You can't compare Jack Bauer to Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ only came back to life once. |
| #194 |
2.86 |
Jack Bauer's cell phone never runs out of battery because the cell phone doesnt want to be mistaken for helping the terrorist. |
| #1397 |
2.86 |
If Jack Bauer was out in a room with three terrorists and one bullet, he would kill the terrorists and walk out with one bullet. Jack Bauer doesn't need bullets. |
| #1400 |
2.85 |
What you don't know can't hurt you... unless you don't know Jack Bauer.
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| #574 |
2.85 |
Jack Bauer does the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle on Saturdays. In pen. |
| #678 |
2.85 |
Jack Bauer doesn't get an erection, he sets up a perimeter in his pants. |