| Fact ID |
Rating |
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| #111 |
2.98 |
Jack Bauer doesn't cut his grass, he stares at it and dares it to grow. |
| #163 |
2.97 |
Jack Bauer's poker face is so good he once won a game of poker with monopoly money, an eight card from uno, a joker, a visa card, a tissue, and an iPod nano. |
| #515 |
2.97 |
It took God six days to get His job done; Jack has 24 hours. |
| #545 |
2.96 |
Jack Bauer kills so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 on the world most wanted list was a kid from Malasia that downloaded the movie Dodgeball. |
| #332 |
2.95 |
If Jack Bauer and MacGyver were locked in a room, Jack Bauer would make a bomb outa MacGyver. |
| #1411 |
2.95 |
If Jack Bauer were gay his name would be Steven Seagal. |
| #903 |
2.94 |
During a trip to Seattle, Jack Bauer heard Grunge music for the first time and thought it sucked. Three days later, Kurt Cobain was dead. |
| #704 |
2.94 |
Everytime you masturbate, Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not because you were masturbating, but because that is how often Jack Bauer kills terrorists |
| #71 |
2.93 |
Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because he's a pussy. |
| #908 |
2.93 |
Jack Bauer is the only one to not save a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to Geico. Jack Bauer doesn't trust Australian Geckos, they might be terrorists. |
| #120 |
2.93 |
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent. |
| #402 |
2.92 |
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite is violet, not because its pretty but because it sounds like violent. |
| #637 |
2.92 |
Jack Bauer can go more than 24 hours without eating or taking a dump. If you doubt this, there is over 96 hours of video footage to back it up. |
| #678 |
2.92 |
Jack Bauer doesn't get an erection, he sets up a perimeter in his pants. |
| #924 |
2.92 |
Pain is weakness leaving the body. Jack Bauer feels no pain because he has never had weakness. Ever. |
| #343 |
2.91 |
Ken Jennings won every game of Jeopardy because he put "Jack Bauer" as the answer to Final Jeopardy, and Jack Bauer is never wrong. |
| #99 |
2.91 |
Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris' neck into 24 pieces. |
| #1494 |
2.91 |
Jack Bauer can talk about Fight Club. |
| #818 |
2.90 |
Chuck Norris's beard can deflect bullets... Jack Beuer only needs 5 o'clock shadow. |
| #933 |
2.90 |
Jack Bauer banged my sister. Good for him. |
| #712 |
2.90 |
On most Health insurance forms the last question is "Have you now, or ever in your past, made Jack Bauer mad? yes or no. |
| #733 |
2.90 |
Jack Bauer can divide by zero. |
| #342 |
2.88 |
Taco Bell used to close at midnight, until Jack Bauer decided he wanted to have burritos at 2 am. |
| #819 |
2.88 |
Sonny Bono cut off Jack Bauer while skiing. Once. |