| Fact ID |
Rating |
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| #3644 |
2.36 |
The reason Hillary isn't president is that she heard that the female commander-in-chief in this season of 24 pissed off Jack, and she wants NONE of that crap. |
| #3643 |
3.17 |
In order to avoid centuries of torture cases, the judicial system simply amended Jack Bauer to the Geneva Convention. |
| #3638 |
3.68 |
There has not been a terrorist attack in the United States since Jack Bauer first appeared on television. |
| #3637 |
3.50 |
Los Angeles will never name a street after Jack Bauer because no one will ever cross it. |
| #3635 |
3.00 |
Jack Bauer shot both the sheriff AND the deputy; the sheriff was a terrorist and the deputy was aiding and abetting him. |
| #3634 |
3.56 |
Jack Bauer once lost reception on his cell phone. 24 hours later AT&T announced that it would have more bars in more places. |
| #3632 |
3.36 |
There was no best man at Jack Bauer's wedding, Jack Bauer is always the best man. |
| #3631 |
1.40 |
If you look in the Dictionary under the word "Bitch," you will see a picture of bruised and bleeding Superman, on his knees, orally pleasuring Jack Bauer in the "Fortess of Solitude," while being slapped around. That's because all houses are Jack's house. If Jack Bauer is in "your" house, YOU will be on your knees, orally pleasuring Jack Bauer because it is really Jack Bauer's house, you bleeding bruised "Bitch."
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| #3630 |
2.50 |
If Jack Bauer wants your opinion, he'll torture it out of you. If your opinion is not to his satisfaction, he will kill you. Be advised: No one else'e opinions interest Jack Bauer, so you're pretty much dead anyway. |
| #3629 |
3.64 |
Jack Bauer doesn't need to search the internet, he just stares a computer down until it gives him the information he needs. |
| #3628 |
4.00 |
How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It doesn't matter. Jack Bauer works in the dark. |
| #3626 |
1.00 |
The reason there's a huge gap in your project plan tonight? It's because Jack Bauer will be taking control of your life during the season premier of 24. |
| #3625 |
3.17 |
Jack Bauer doesn't just piss excellence, he also shits gold. Bauer can single handedly end the recession. |
| #3624 |
3.00 |
As a child Jack Bauer's mother would rock him to sleep with real rocks. |
| #3623 |
3.00 |
Jack Bauer goes to the beach and kicks sand in his own face. |
| #3622 |
4.00 |
Jack Bauer's rice crispies don't go snap,crackle and pop,they go "Ssshhh here he comes" |
| #3620 |
3.50 |
Jack Bauer once brought a knife to a gun fight. Turns out, he only needed his two legs. |
| #3619 |
3.50 |
When Jack Bauer wants the prize inside a cereal box, he doesn't reach inside. He tortures it until it pops out. |
| #3618 |
3.14 |
The Killers are a Jack Bauer tribute band. |
| #3617 |
2.33 |
Jack Bauer enrolled in business school as soon as he heard there was an "economic crisis." |
| #3616 |
3.22 |
The Boogieman checks his closet for Jack Bauer |
| #3615 |
4.00 |
While you are reading this Jack Bauer is killing a terrorist |
| #3614 |
4.00 |
Jack Bauer eats IED's for breakfast, sometimes without milk |
| #3613 |
3.50 |
I'm not concerned about 2012 because the world will only end once Jack Bauer says it can, and he still has to kill Tony. Again.
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